Just how much of a loser are you? Take this quiz and find out!

1. I don't have that many friends because ...

a. I don't like that many people.

b. Not that many people like me.

c. I just moved here, like, three years ago, and it takes a lot of time to make new friends.

d. I have one really close friend, Ricky, who I tell everything to, so I don't really need other friends. Well, OK, he's a teddy bear, but he's a Libra, so he really understands me.

2. When I do meet people, they usually think I'm ...

a. A little too cool to hang out with them. They're wrong.

b. Not quite cool enough to hang out with them. They're right.

c. A little strange because I meet most people at the corner store by my house, and they usually just want to get cigarettes and go, but I still think it's good for me to get out there and make an effort.

d. An earth sign, since I'm so into making mud pies.

3. I would do something to change my life completely, but ...

a. I figure I'll wait until things get even worse: Then I'll be motivated enough to change everything.

b. I just have bad luck, and no matter what I do, things'll still pretty much suck.

c. I really just need to get back together with my ex and then everything'll be fine because we're perfect for each other. Once he takes the block off my phone number, I'll call him and explain everything. Hopefully his wife won't answer ...

d. I've got to wait until the moon gets out of Jupiter. Then I can move my couch from my west wall to my south wall, which should adjust my attitude towards relationships a little, but I can't actually go out with someone or my cat might stop eating again.

4. I get really jittery around people sometimes because ...

a. Everyone is so damn glamorous in this stupid town, it kills me. How can you not feel self-conscious when suddenly even the homeless are wearing Prada?

b. There are certain types of people who make me nervous, like preppy types from the Northeast who listen to the Dead, or nerdy magazine editors who think they're intellectuals, or rich socialites who think they're hipsters,
or ...

c. I started sweating profusely when I hit 28 and I haven't stopped since.

d. I was an amoeba in a former life, so when people say they're gonna "split," it makes me really nervous.

Answer Key

1. b
2. c
3. b
4. d



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