"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 27 August 1999. Updated every WEEKDAY.

Suck: Some Kind of Online Publication for Four Whole Years!

It's a principle honored equally by first-term presidents, college undergrads, and the great powers of World War I: After you do something for four years, everybody will forget the original point of the activity. Sadly, as we mark Suck's linen anniversary, we have neither the burgeoning Young Republicanism of the typical college grad nor the clothing-optional will power of the typical incumbent. On a good day, we can psyche ourselves into that "No" stage common to most 4-year-olds, but at this point, that seems a little redundant.

Suffice it to say that this is more than just another Suck anniversary. It's the beginning of our fifth year of existence, and while you may suspect everybody would have been happy if the rumors of our death had come true, we can assure you that we ourselves would have been happier than anybody. But after four long years, all of Suck — the stuff you like, the stuff you hate, the stuff you barely notice — looks as stable and solid as a Bob Hope special, and half as funny. We've even (and this is strictly between us) started to turn a little profit on this Web-publishing thing. Suck isn't going away anytime soon.

Looking forward to serving you for another four years, we remain

  The Sucksters

Happy Fourth Anniversary To Us! (Click the thumbnail below to view your favorite card.) :

Note to our readers: We will be on vacation next week and will offer up a week's worth of Classic Suck. In the spirit of our anniversary, please tune in for this trip down memory lane.