Barenaked Ladies — Stunt

When the white, Anglo-Saxon male who actually paid full retail for this CD was born, his parents envisioned a bright future for him. How could they have known what a disappointment he'd turn out to be? Ignored by his teachers, shunned by his peers, he spent his formative years alone in his room reading Cracked. His coming of age consisted of watching from the bushes as his friends fumbled through their first sexual encounters at summer camp. In high school, he was voted "most likely never to win anything — ever," and clearly that prediction has turned out to be true.

Despite the fact that everything about him — his shabby appearance, his stultifying personality, his dour demeanor, his severe stutter — screams "assistant clerk, records department, Nowheresville, USA," his secret ambition is to be a stand-up comedian. Unfortunately, his earnest confession of this stupid dream is the only thing he'll ever say that will make you laugh. Although his sexual performance can best be described as "British," he's actually Canadian, another shameful fact that he tries unsuccessfully to conceal. While you might be tempted to take pity on this second-rate Rupert Pupkin, your charitable inclinations could be put to better use recycling newspapers.