One of your cases involved a man
who thought his friends had
posted photos of him
masturbating on the Web, which
seems to be becoming a popular
theme in the media. A media
mogul gets busted online while
masturbating in Kurt Andersen's
book Turn of the Century, and
I believe there's a plot point
about accidentally uploading jerk
shots in the upcoming teen
sex comedy American Pie. Do you
have any idea why that trope is
out there right now?

This case happened about a year
and a half ago. There was stuff
beyond just [online
masturbation]. This gentleman
thought he was going to be
exposed on a daytime talk show
for his lack of sexual prowess
and had other delusions. I think
this man just had some sexual
issues, and since he saw the
Internet as a big, monolithic
entity that can't be controlled,
he was concerned about it.

You mentioned that none of the
people in your cases had much
actual experience online. What
did this guy know about it?

All this guy knew was that his
friends were more computer savvy
than he was. He didn't have a
computer or anything, and he
believed his friends were going
to use their knowledge to mess
with him and embarrass him.

This same person believed he
had Internet bugs in his ears
that were controlling his thoughts.
Were they like the intelligent
agents who recommend books
for you at Amazon?

That's a real common symptom in
schizophrenic patients; they
often believe they're being
controlled by radio waves —
although that's more '50s/'60s
stuff. But this guy sort of
brought it into the '90s.

He also believed people could
make his extremities jump just
by clicking on certain links on
his Web page. Could you expand
on that?

What he thought was that he was
so under the Internet's spell
that his friends, once again,
had made this Web page that
contained photos of him
masturbating and had put in
these links just so people could
come along and mess with him
some more — make him jump
and kick. Actually, when we were
seeing this gentleman, he was
kicking and moving his arms
around and saying, "See? This is
all part of that Web page."

Wow. How did you end up
treating him?

This gentleman ended up needing
medication. There were drugs
involved too, but even after
the drugs were out of his system,
he needed antipsychotic
medication. He was definitely
out of touch with reality.

Well, did you ever talk with his
friends to see if they really
had put this Web page
together?

We talked with his family. They
had no idea where [these ideas]
came from, but they did know
that in the last months before
he was hospitalized he had
started talking about this stuff
with increasing regularity. He
had no computer; even his
friends said, "We have computers
at work, but we have no Web
pages and no idea where this
paranoia came from." He had seen
a movie; I can't remember which
movie. But after that, he
started picking up on the idea
of the Internet's being pretty
bad for him.

What do you make of the fact
that the people who know the
least are the most delusional?

The thing is, if you're familiar
with it, you know what you can
do with it. People who don't use
it at all think you can tap into
your government files and read
what they're saying about you
and that people can tap into
personal data about you.

Your other case involved a guy
who "received magnetism from
the Internet each day at 2:00,
4:00 and 7:00, just like on
the Dr Pepper bottle." I don't
get the allusion.

The old Dr Pepper bottles had a
clock on them, and this guy was
obsessing about the idea that,
since he was a witch, Dr Pepper
had some kind of strange meaning
for him — I have no idea
what meaning. He also believed
he could surf the Net using only
his mind. When we were talking
to him, he would zone out for a
couple minutes, then say, "I was
just surfing the Web. I visited
so-and-so's Web site." He was
spending time on the local
university's Web site, giving
advice to other witches, all
through his mind.

So he was the opposite of the
first guy: He had delusions of
grandeur.

Exactly. He was a webmaster.

Yeah, it was just a matter of
time before somebody picked
up on that term and declared
himself webmaster even though
he doesn't have the credentials.
How did you treat this person?

This gentleman was a lot tougher
to treat. The first gentleman
caused a lot of disturbances on
the floor, so we were able to
intervene. This gentleman,
despite his beliefs about the
Web, wasn't a threat to himself
or anybody else and he refused
any treatment. When he left the
hospital he said he was going
home to work on some stuff with
other witches. He refused follow
up. And in the state of Florida,
you really can't do much with
people unless they're a threat
to themselves or to others.

You don't see so many movies
where people hack into
government computers and the
like anymore...."

Or stuff like Sandra Bullock
being tracked down in The Net.

Right, so were these people
influenced by current coverage,
like the IBM paranoia
commercials and such?

I think people who don't know
what this stuff is about are
still really wary of it. There
are people on the staff at the
hospital who don't trust the
Internet and believe that the
government can get into their
computers through phone lines
and see what they're up to. And
these are functioning people.

Have you seen any delusions
based on what the Internet
actually is — for example,
people who believe they're being
tormented by friends who send
them lists of LOL jokes?

I've seen four or five cases
since these two, but they've all
been in this vein. They've
involved people who are
concerned that the Web is out to
get them or believe they have
special Web powers. But nothing
based on reality. It's all been
based on fantasy and urban myth.

Have you seen any hypochon-
driacs who believe they have
Net addiction syndrome, even
though they don't?

We've seen some actual cases of
people who have been so obsessed
with this stuff that they've
lost their jobs or families. We
had one woman whose husband left
her because she was online 10 or
12 hours a day.

Are you going to make Internet
delusions a specialty?

Right now I'm just keeping an
eye out for it. Some delusions
have names. For example, some
very psychotic people believe
other people in their
environments have been replaced
by exact duplicates, and that's
known as Capgrass Syndrome.
The question is whether this will
grow enough to have its own
name — "cyberpsychosis" or
something like that, which is
sort of catchy. But I'm willing
to bet that as people use this
stuff more and more, it will be
used more by mentally ill people
who need something to build
their delusions around.