1. Which of the following do you currently have?
d. all of the above
e. none of the above
If you answered a, b, c, or d, stop lying to yourself and answer the stupid
So you don't have the power, the money, or the pussy, and you'd like to
figure out where to begin. Is it really necessary to go for the power
first, you wonder? Or should you try to get the pussy first or the money
first? Read on and find a route to excess, egotism, and misogyny that fits
your special needs!
a. the tyrannical king of a very small, very poor island nation
b. the highly unattractive, highly ineffective figurehead of a massive corporation
c. a struggling pimp
d. Hugh Hefner
a. The bitch, baby, the bitch! Is she hot?
b. The money, baby. I'd take the money. And buy a bitch with the money.
c. I'd take the gun. Oh, the power and glory of a loaded weapon in the morning! Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.
d. I'd snatch the gun, then grab the suitcase of cash, and force the ho into my Buick Regal. I mean, you own a Buick Regal, you know these things.
a. Bill Clinton
b. Bill Gates
c. Larry Flynt
d. Tinky Winky
a. 15 tacos at Taco Bell
b. a lottery ticket
c. 1/60 of a share of eBay stock
d. entrance to Crazy Girls, where I'd sweet-talk a lap dance out of the really little one who does the splits so well
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