POPULAR SCIENCE



Sure, you may have been both a geek and a wildly popular person at different stages of your social career. Perhaps the most crucial factor in determining your personality today is the age you went from untouchable-leper status to Jesus status, or vice versa.



Type 1: Down from Day 1

You were unbelievably cute at an age when most kids have noses twice as big as the rest of their faces. Your parents had frequent parties so you were socialized to exhibit faux-sincerity from the cradle on. You wore attractively cut clothes, tailored to accommodate any relatively minor figure flaws and chosen in colors that nicely complemented your skin tone. You did not drool on your pillow at slumber parties. You exhibited perfect cocktail-party conversation in the halls before class but could not resist the temptation to use your higher powers mostly for evil instead of good.


Unfortunately for you, you could only maintain the same divine level of godliness you achieved at age 7, while everyone else transitioned, however slowly, from frog to prince. And they didn't forget the living hell you put them through, did they? This left you slightly dissatisfied in your late teens.


However, since you're accustomed to being perfect, you hardly need to chase after ego rewards for yourself in later life. So instead, you'll marry a legendarily nice guy or girl (who else would put up with your shit?) and have some kids before you're 30, giving them a head start in bestriding the narrow world like a colossus.




 
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