This may seem like a dark hour for the nation, with the presidency, democracy, and workplace blow jobs hanging in the balance. But if there's one bright spot in all this civic despair, it's what we can all learn about parliamentarianism. We here at the Suck Committee on Parliamentary Procedure move to remind you that there's hardly a single facet of your life that can't be improved with the introduction of a little legal jargon and forensic process. It worked for Court TV, Judge Judy, Ally McBeal, and Bill Gates. It can work for you. The new legalism: It's not just for jury duty anymore!