Don't waste years and zillions of dollars on therapy! Just clip and save this handy chart so that when things go wrong for you, you'll know who to blame - and why!

*As it turned out, she was right. But still.

**You might consider making an edgy independent film about your shitty childhood to get the love that you deserve.

***Excessive use of four-letter words added in honor of Gratuitous Foul Language Week, being celebrated across the globe.


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