"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 29 January 1999. Updated every WEEKDAY.


It's that time again! Time to blame your stupid parents for everything and anything that's horribly wrong, slightly wrong, or maybe even just-not-quite-completely right about your life!

When you really think about it, there's no end to the stuff you can blame your parents for!

Why not blame your parents for ...

  • Your bad taste in men

  • Your unrealistic expectations of yourself

  • The way you have to wait to put your laundry in the washing machine until after it fills up with water

  • Your big, huge, gigantic nose

  • Your inability to trust people with money

  • The fact that you'll probably die of a heart attack before you hit 50, since heart disease runs in your family

  • Your appetite for fast food

Why not make a little list right now of all the stuff that's your parents' fault? But don't just stew in your own juices: Call up your parents and read them your list! It's important to get this stuff off your chest, get your emotions flowing, and what not.

They'll understand. They're your parents. They have to understand.

If they don't understand, they're total jerks! You should tell them that too!

Next ... Trace your problems back to the source!

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