Dear Polly,

For some reason, ever since I hit 27, every conversation has included a statement like, "I grew up middle class, so ..." or "Coming from a working class background, I can understand...."

My problem is, I honestly don't know what class I am. I mean, we had some stuff, but not that much. I don't know. Can you help me?

Robert Harvey


Take this quiz and find out!

1. For breakfast, we ate ...

A. whatever Mummy cooked.
B. whatever "Cooky" cooked.
C. whatever was in the cupboard. On good weeks, Crunchberries.
D. whatever was on special that week.
E. whoever's lunch we could steal on the school bus.

2. Conversations about money always included ...

A. solemn tones.
B. yelling and accusations.
C. tears.
D. broad smiles and toasts.
E. Bob, the estate planner.
F. Mummy and Daddy never discussed money, period. In fact, I find this question slightly inappropriate, if not downright tacky.

3. Our clothes were dried ...

A. out of sight somewhere by someone we'd never met.
B. in the dryer.
C. on the line.
D. in the dryer at the laundromat.
E. in the hot air running from the people who left their stuff unattended at the laundromat.

4. Which of the following products are you most familiar with?

A. Generic
B. Kraft
C. Stouffer's
D. Kiehl's
E. Toblerone

5. Vacations meant ...

A. flying to our island home and eating and shopping and tanning and just generally relaxing with the family.
B. driving down to Florida to stay at a discount hotel with drink specials fixed into the total price.
C. hauling ass up to Springfield, Ohio, (where our cousins lived) in a car without air conditioning, playing quiz games to keep from killing one another on the way there.
D. taking a cooler of Little Hugs and some rubber rafts up to Kerr Lake for a float in the mud.
E. driving out to the penitentiary to see Dad.

6. What does tuna taste like?

A. With Miracle Whip or just plain?
B. Packed in oil or water?
C. Little Mermaid or Bumblebee?
D. Standard or ahi?
E. Seared or crusted with sesame?

7. When you were younger, you were most embarrassed by ...

A. using green stamps.
B. wearing shoes from Pic-n-Pay.
C. the dark roots of my mother's platinum bob.
D. the tear in the Benz's leather seats.
E. my weak backhand.

8. Which of these can you recognize from a mile away?

A. Vanderbilts
B. Imitation Anna Sui wedding gowns
C. Bad nose jobs
D. Recipes that include Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup
E. Men who've had more than four Pabst Blue Ribbons in the last hour

Answer Key:

Don't play games with me. You already know exactly where and what you come from. The real question is, what exactly are you trying to hide?

Anyway, here's hoping for your sake you weren't spoiled rotten, because the rest of us really hate that about people.

Next ... Complaints on Filler's "coverage" of Monicagate.

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