I had a dream that I was reading an issue of Suck that took place on an airplane carrying Polly Esther and Ambrose Beers home from a vacation at Euro-Disney. During their stay in France, there had been a scandal in the news involving the sexual misdeeds of a man and his 20-year-old son. It was something like that Au Pair thing, insofar as the Americans disagreed with the French over who was responsible - the father or the son. Ambrose holds the American opinion and has been biting his tongue throughout the vacation to avoid starting a fight with Polly.

This issue of Suck is obviously a Filler or a special issue because I find myself sitting on the airplane watching the action live and in person. Each row of seats on the plane contains an identical Polly-and-Ambrose pair. As they converse, each line of dialog takes place in the row behind the previous one, such that the conversation moves from the front of the plane to the back. I overhear them saying confusing and witty things like "buffet-zip fly," and then I notice something strange. Each pair of seats on the plane is colored either blue or red depending on which person speaks their line of dialog while sitting in that pair of seats. Some of the pairs of seats are colored blue and red, and, sure enough, when the conversation reaches the multi-colored seats, both Polly and Ambrose speak at once. The seat coloring is not explained and, rather, is left for the reader to figure out, like many of the jokes in Suck.

I'm fucking serious. This was the dream I had last night.

Demmy Rooster










Polly Esther

Terry Colon


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