SOUNDBITE: "Actress, fashion designer, and fitness expert Kathy Ireland will succeed Pierce Brosnan as the ambassador for women's health issues for the Entertainment Industry Foundation/Permanent Charities. 'This is one of the most important and challenging assignments of my life,' she said through her publicity company."

SOURCE: UPI

TARGET AUDIENCE: Stalkers, Kathy's mom, underachieving media hacks seeking easy prey

DRUDGE-O-METER: Code Beige

THE OBVIOUS QUESTION: Does the ambassador for women's health issues for the Entertainment Industry Foundation/Permanent Charities actually do anything other than publicity company ventriloquism?