Senator Dennis Miller (Reform Party - Pennsylvania). His comedy became rants, and his rants became speeches, and before he knew what hit him, HBO had been hit with an FCC "fairness" complaint. After HBO couldn't prove that Miller's material contained any "comedy" any longer, the network booted him off, back to his hometown of Pittsburgh, where the goateed smug-ler launched an immediate Senate bid, easily cruising to victory after he promised Philly and Pittsburgh residents the state legalization of drugs, and he promised central Pennsylvania residents the legalization of inbreeding. "With me here, it's a repartee-party," Miller quipped during his first filibuster, which broke all Senate records while also helping C-SPAN 2 achieve its highest Nielsens ever. Rumors continue to surface that Miller is contemplating a presidential run, with unfunny liberal "comic" Will Durst as his VP. "They're the Perot/Stockdale for the new millennium," said a Miller-Durst '04 campaign worker.


Next ... Bubba, Can You Hear Me?

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