There come times in a woman's life when advances aren't desired, attention is unwanted. At these moments, a woman is helpless without the haberdashery genius from the John Merrick collection. Only $559.

Or, when a woman's beauty (or a man's interest or alcohol consumption) is so superlative as to necessitate a look free from the confines of subtlety - or for simple accessorizing needs - let us also remember to order the Rocky Dennis face-Mask. If it can hide the pretty fragility of Eric Stoltz, we're guessing it can work for you as well, cherie. Basic set: $1,300. Each extra tumorous lump: $70 per pound.

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