1. g, Rabbit = CEO
2. a, Bird = Copyeditor
3. b, Wolf = Manager
4. h, Mouse = Editor
5. e, Fox = Ad sales
6. c, Bear = Executive producer
7. i, Owl = Admin. assistant
8. f, Earthworm = Writer
9. d, Squirrel = Public Relations

Rabbits are natural CEOs. Flinchy, fawning, dodgy - who better to report to the board? Copyeditors are birds, managers are wolves - pretty self-explanatory. Mice make good editors because they rip everything to shreds and all you're left with is a pile of smelly turds. Anyone who can sell online advertising has to be sly like a fox, crazy like a fox, or just plain foxy. Bears make good executive producers because they're big and dumb and clumsy and can spend endless hours looking busy but accomplishing nothing. Owls are administrative assistants because they sit back and watch the madness without participating in it, which also makes them the wisest members of the new-media office, which isn't saying much. Earthworms stand a higher chance of meeting a deadline than writers do. Finally, squirrels equal "squirrelly." And that's PR in a nutshell.


Next ... Management at work!

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