Resolution anxiety stems from your yearly (if you're lucky) need to measure your progress in life. If you're like most people, you measure your success based on how you think other people - say, Winona Ryder or the guy at the coffee shop with the Range Rover - measure their success.
Naturally, the great minds at Filler have an alternative system for charting your achievements, so that even losers like you can pretend you're better than most people.
Based on the above chart, it would seem that the minds at Filler are encouraging you to engage in a very immature mindset and outlook on life. If this baffles or disturbs you, please refresh your memory of our editorial slant by rereading the title of this publication.
Next ... The Hack sees his shrink!