DEFENSE MECHANISMS AND COUNTERATTACKS!
Unfortunately, based on your current condition, the few people who
still consider themselves your friends will start to question or criticize
your behavior. This will make you very defensive, angry, and hungry for one
of those tapioca pudding cups from the fridge. But you'll know, deep down
inside, that stewing in your own juices while inhaling tapioca is no real
Instead, we'd suggest open confrontation and counterattacks. You're always
right, right? Here's how to keep it that way.
Claim to be Above Normal Human Needs
Hint That They Don't Have All the Facts
Wonder Outloud Why It Bothers Them So Much
Accuse Them of Jealousy
The Old "Mind Your Own Business"
Point Out That What's Right for Them May Not Be Right For You
For your current state of mental distress, in five easy steps!
1. Shut up and stop feeling sorry for yourself (or at least write some
hideously self-pitying music or poetry).
2. Mop your floor.
3. Scrub out your bathtub.
4. Go for a run.
5. Drink a nice cold glass of water.
6. Take a nice hot bath.
7. Learn a new skill.