THE PERPETUALLY UNEMPLOYED! (continued)
THE GUITAR-PLAYING GUY
He's spotted at coffee shops, open mikes, and sidewalks across the city. No one knows who he is, where he came from, or what he does. In fact, no one's even heard him speak, unless he's introducing his next song. He seems tired of the world, tired of the system, tired of the man.... But he's never tired of Bob Dylan.
THE TRUST-FUND NIHILIST
She's known since the day she was born that she'd never have to work a day in her life. Enough said.
MR. HIGH TIMES
If you're deemed trustworthy, he'll show you the plants he spawned from some "Humboldt kind," he'll demonstrate his special expensive lights, he'll tell you about the coolest bong he ever saw and how hemp just makes the best clothing - why, he'll even pack you a big b-b ... bundle of cookies. Mmm-mmm, good! He doesn't do or talk about much else, but usually you're too ... full to notice anyway.
He's been working on the same screenplay for over five years, and yet he won't tell you the first thing about it. Is he a good writer? Is he writing at all? Only time will tell, but until then you'll have to endure endless vague abstractions, all quilted in an eerily inappropriate complacency.
THE ETERNAL INTERN
Technically, he's employed, but that doesn't mean he gets paid. He claims to be "learning" a lot, but he should be a genius by now, for the amount of time he's spent interning. One suspects a degree of delusion in the works, not to mention a degree in Xeroxing....