S U C K

"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 19 November 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Filler: 11.19.97
 

KIDS TODAY INCREASINGLY STUPID AND LAZY!

Just as you may have suspected, recent studies indicate that young people today are, indeed, stupider and lazier than ever before.

 

 

As you can see, laziness among 15- to 35-year-olds has been steadily increasing for the last 35 years, with a jump around 1972. Likewise, subjects in the same age group display a steady increase in stupidity since Nixon's election, an increase seemingly unrelated to race, class, or education.

What does this mean for a future generation of Americans? Hell if we know. But as one educator quipped, "If kids get much stupider or lazier, our economy is going to hell in a handbasket. Now if you'll exsqueeze me, I'm late for my smoke break."

Next ... Meet the Perpetually Unemployed!

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