S U C K

"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 1 October 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Filler: 10.01.97
 

 

ARE YOU DEPRESSED?
Or just hungry?
Or maybe a little of both?
Take this quiz and find out!

 

1. When you picture the future, what do you see?

a. An endless sequence of socially awkward moments

b. An endless list of pesky errands to run

c. Chili-cheese fries

d. An endless sequence of pesky errands, one of which is to pick up some chili-cheese fries

 
 

 

2. Your friend has a happy look on his face. What do you do?

a. Lash out at him for looking so damn happy when he knows perfectly well I'm miserable

b. Feel desperately jealous of him

c. Ask what he ate for lunch

d. Ask what he ate for lunch, then feel desperately jealous of him

 
 

 

3. Which of these things would you most like to do?

a. Die immediately

b. Quit my job and move to a sunny place far, far away

c. Eat a huge steak grilled to perfection and served with something covered in melted cheese

d. Quit job, eat steak, move to sunny place with great restaurants

 
 

 

4. When you wake up in the morning, what's the first thing you think about?

a. The futility of it all

b. The futility of getting out of bed at all

c. A doughnut the size of my head

d. The futility of doughnuts smaller than my head

 
 

 

5. If you could wish for one thing, what would it be?

a. That my life would, for once, meet my expectations

b. That I could somehow lower my expectations

c. A really great sushi place that delivers

d. That I could somehow lower my expectations of sushi places that deliver

 
 

Next ... Play the Blame Game!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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