S U C K

"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 10 September 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
 
 

 
 
 

Filler: 09.10.97
 

THE WRITER'S LIFE

You want to be a writer. Then, when people ask you what you do, you can say, simply, "I'm a writer." Won't that be great? Just make sure your heart is in the right place....

 

BAD REASONS TO WRITE

You want to inflict revenge on ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, or family members for ruining your life.

 

You think everything you and your friends say is sheer genius, and you want to share that genius with the world.

 

You want to prove to everyone in the world that you know more than they do.*

*NOTE: This is, however, a good reason to be a critic or an academic.

 

You saw a beautiful sunset a few years ago, and it touched you in such a special way that you want to share it with the world.

 

You want a big, glamorous-yet-rugged picture of yourself on the back cover of a book, so you'll get laid more often.

 

GOOD REASONS TO WRITE

There's nothing better to do.

 

 

 

Next ... Birdshit By Birdshit!

 
 
 

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