MORE URBAN HIPSTER MANTRAS!
The "You're So Mainstream, Why Don't You Go Back to Ohio?" Bark
Useful response to: Day-Glo clothing, Budweiser, "Woohoo!", acid-washed jeans, high-fives, Celine Dion
Tone: Elitist, scoffing, hoity-toity
Real message: "I'm from Ohio and very homesick. Stop reminding me of all those down-to-earth,
friendly people and happy dogs and trees and no hipsters in sight.... "
The "I Embrace the Mainstream" Anti-Alterna Stance
Useful response to: Frighteningly hip nightclubs, goatees, beyond-indie record stores, experimental anything
Tone: Indignant, rebellious, defensive
Real message: "I love pop music, damn it, is that so wrong?!!"
The "It's So Bad, It's Good" Excuse
Useful response to: Melrose Place/90210, The Real World, ABBA, romantic comedies, Singled Out, Unzipped
Tone: Enthusiastic, perversely thrilled (often includes giggling and/or jumping up and down excitedly)
Real message: "I take joy in watching other people embarrass and/or humiliate themselves." Also
"I take joy in embarrassing and/or humiliating myself."
The "It's So Bad, You Must Be a Lobotomized Mutant" Jab
Useful response to: The "It's So Bad, It's Good" Excuse
Tone: Accusational, caustic
Real message: "I have no sense of humor whatsoever."
Next ... Learn the Urban Hipster Equation!