Do you get excited about magazines filled with Fresh New Looks for Spring? Do you watch reruns of MTV's House of Style to make fun of Cindy Crawford, or to gather new information on the latest trends?


If you are interested in fashion, why oh why do you care? (Check all that apply.)

  • I'm bored
  • I have a lot of time on my hands
  • I have a lot of extra money
  • I live in New York. I have to care.
  • I feel compelled to express my personality through my clothing
  • I don't look so great. I need clothing just to get noticed.
  • I have an accessory fetish
  • I was always jealous of the rich, popular kids who got to wear Esprit sweatshirts and Polo shirts in junior high. I'll show them!
  • I've always been interested in fashion. I don't know why.

In case you weren't aware, fashion is just an elaborate ploy by a bunch of hoity-toity artists with nothing better to do than act like freaks, recruit anorexics, and throw big parties for the rich and famous. It's one thing to get a kick out of the weird personalities and those freak, er ... runway shows. It's quite another to actually get wrapped up in them. Perhaps it's time to examine some of the pathologies behind your strange obsession with the fascism of fashion. The following chart should help you to put things into perspective:



Of course, you might just think it's fun, or that it's a form of self-expression. And that's just fine. Maybe you even make money dreaming up weird outfits. Nothing wrong with that. Or, maybe you think that fashion is stupid, and you dress like shit. That's fine, too. Just try not to straddle the fashion fence like we do....


The Fashion Fence

Bad attitude, bad dresser. A lose-lose situation.


[NEXT PAGE: Learn about those select few who are ... Too Cool for School!]


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