EASY TARGET #2: JOSH QUITTNER

Is Quittner out of Time? Or are you?

[Source: "Life and Death on the Web" by Joshua Quittner, Time, 2/10/97]

 

1. "Stim was typical of the flood of 'zines that launched last year. It was silly and fun and new, and it took the kinds of risks you don't take if you've already found a market."

The "kinds of risks" the author refers to are

a) Repeatedly delaying its launch date
b) Publishing aimless rants
c) Following Spiv's lead
d) Stalking Ned Brainard

 

2. Stim editor Mikki Halpin: "Operations such as processing invoices and ordering supplies will be greatly streamlined now that we have no money."

This is

a) An incentive to have no money
b) A sad admission of failure
c) The funniest, most insightful statement ever to issue from the mouth of a Stim editor

 

3. "Stim's tale is typical, if you're to believe The Wall Street Journal, which, coincidentally, ran a front-page story the day Stim hit the skids pointing out that too many Web publishers were competing for too few ad dollars. Consequently, lots of them began quitting. The cowards."

According to this quote, the definition of coward is

a) A practical and frugal businessperson
b) A wise and clairvoyant marketer
c) A person irrationally fearful of throwing away millions of dollars
d) A quitter

 
 

4. "Here's my prediction: no Web publisher will make money this year or even, maybe, the next few...."

The appropriate reaction to this prediction would be to

a) Refrain from publishing on the Web in the next few years
b) Publish away, but don't expect to make any money
c) Keep investing in Web publishing, knowing that, in 3 or 4 years, your zine just might be readable, even mildly interesting
d) Give Joshua Quittner the Fortuneteller Award for his unbelievable insight into future online markets

 

5. "This is an infant medium; it needs time to find its way. I'm not saying Stim could ever have grown into The New Yorker. Or maybe I am. The point is, we will probably never know."

Other things we will probably never know

a) If Kurt Cobain could ever have written another album with the raw power of Nevermind
b) If Luke and Laura could ever have been happy
c) If curly fries could ever have made a comeback
d) If Joshua Quittner could ever write for The New Yorker

 

6. The best summary of the main point of this article is:

a) Quitters never win
b) Quittner never wins

 

Correct answers:

1. a, 2. a, 3. c, 4. c, 5. a

 
NEXT... HAVE A BREW WITH
THE HARBINGER OF GENETIC DOOM!