S U C K

"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 5 March 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
 
 
 
 
 

Filler: 03.05.97
 

IT'S JURY DOODY TIME!

After three weeks of jury duty on a civil trial, Polly feels fully qualified to sum up the jury system, lawyers, the law profession - hell, the entire judicial enterprise - just for you. She makes snap judgments, so you don't have to!

 

THE SELECTION PROCESS!

As most upstanding citizens know, the jury selection process is a very crucial step in any trial.

 
 

It's a highly scientific process that takes years to comprehend and master.

 
 

The lawyers for each side can dismiss nine prospective jurors based on extremely complicated - and undisclosed - criteria.

 
 

Jurors with extensive knowledge of the issues are immediately dismissed, leaving behind only those unbiased enough to deliver a fair verdict.

 
 

Once an unbiased and impartial jury is selected, jurors are dismissed until the trial begins, and warned not to discuss the facts of the trial with anyone.

 
 

 
 

 

THE TRIAL BEGINS!

It takes a lot of concentration and patience to sit on a jury trial. Each member must listen closely and try to understand the evidence presented to them. Luckily, no one can read their minds...

 

What the Jury Is Supposed to Be Thinking

 

What the Jury Is Actually Thinking

 

 
 
 

OVERHEARD AT THE COURTHOUSE!

The world of law is so fascinating! Listen closely to those public servants around you, and you'll learn lots of interesting factoids about the way our judicial system works. The following were actually overheard in the San Francisco Hall of Justice.

 

Lawyer, speaking to two other lawyers, in the hallway:
"Did you see how well he confused the witness? That man is going to make a bundle off this case."

 

An expert witness, reviewing his upcoming testimony with a lawyer outside the courtroom:

Expert witness - "Where are my opinions again?"
Lawyer - "Your opinions are on page 20."

 

Lawyer, talking to another lawyer in the elevator, laughing:
"Ohmigod. It was perfect. She started crying and everything. I mean, it's sad, of course. But it went so perfectly."

 

 

THE JURY DELIBERATES!

A simple summary of the jury deliberation process in one sentence.

"But... this one goes to 11."

 
 

APPLYING WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED!

Firsthand experience with the law can greatly enhance your communication skills!

 

 

 

 

 

 

words
Polly Esther

pictures
Terry Colon

 

 
 
 

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