S U C K

"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 22 January 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
 
 
 
 
 

Filler: 01.22.97
 
 

This week, a very special Filler, featuring three brief stories, each with a moral all its own! That's right!

3 STORIES, 3 MORALS!

You can learn some important lessons! Just like a sitcom, except a little worse!

 

STORY #1: THE CEO WHO COULDN'T READ!

 

For years, everyone wondered why he insisted on having his secretary read his email out loud to him.

 

And he'd always dictate responses to her, instead of just typing them in himself.

 

This grueling process left his secretary quite perplexed!

 

And no one had ever seen him pick up a pen, except to sign his name, and he never seemed to read before signing!

 

His signature was suspiciously illegible - kind of like a scribble!

 

Finally, an employee confronted him about it. She was fired immediately!

 

THE END.

THE MORAL: Illiteracy is not an obstacle to success at the executive level. An inquiring mind, however, is.

 
 

STORY #2: THE CEO WHO DIDN'T DROP ACID!

Steve Jobs on Bill Gates: "I just think he and Microsoft are a bit narrow. He'd be a broader guy if he had dropped acid once or gone off to an ashram when he was younger." [The New York Times Magazine, 1/12/97]

THE END.

THE MORAL: Don't drop acid, or risk being a tired old poser who's jealous of the richest man in the world.

 
 

STORY #3: THE BOY WHO FELT VAGUELY DISSATISFIED!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

THE END.

THE MORAL: Don't wear zig-zag sweaters.

 

 

words
Polly Esther

pictures
Terry Colon

 

 
 
 





Polly Esther