Old media reporters must really

buy into all that cyber-hype

they shovel out, judging from

the Washington D.C.-based

Standing Committee of

Correspondents' recent decision

to grant press credentials (and

hence credibility) to

Internet-based news outlets on

the grounds that they're sources

of original reporting. Leaving

aside for a moment the fact that

almost all sites routinely

trample on the Committee's rule

against publicity activities -

just witness HotWired's constant

needling of rivals in its

back-patting Flux column - the

only real original reporting on

the Internet has to do with

tracking hit counts. At least

AT&T Business Network's

LeadStory acknowledges this,

helpfully providing a

well-tended list of live links

to stories from such old media

standbys as the San Francisco

Chronicle and the San Jose

Mercury News. A story of merit

that an Internet reporter has

broken? The Roswell Conspiracy.

And speaking of the Web retro

zeitgeist movement... Film Zone,

which has existed heretofore as

a website, wants to become a

print entity, using much of what

was recently the staff of Film

Threat magazine. Dan Vebber,

editor-in-chief of the Zone,

confirms their interest in

cranking up a print entity,

saying each "will take advantage

of the other." Shared letterhead

for everyone! As a side bar, or

sideshow, Hustler publisher

Larry Flynt has been returning

from the set of his upcoming

biopic, The People v. Larry

Flynt, to sack editors willy

nilly (hence the Film Threat

exodus). And director Milos Forman,

of Amadeus fame, is steaming

like a double latte over having

to pony up a truckload of bucks

for the bond insuring that

Courtney Love will still be

standing at the end of the

shoot.

Certain women in Texas have hair

so big that it scares small

children. The women profiled in

Texas Hair and Style have hair

so big it might conceal a small

child. And that scares us a

little. Perhaps it's supposed to -

the creators of the site claim,

"Traditionally, everything

in Texas is said to be a little

bigger. Hair is no exception."

These heads have more frosting

than a Suzy-Q, get more air time

than Olajuwon, and are on the

receiving end of more teasing

than the Texas A&M Aggies. If

the Republic of Texas had had as

much support as this hair, we'd

be negotiating oil prices with

President Perot.

Finally, a courtroom event worthy

of cnn.com. As a Harvard alumni

with UCB Math Dept. teaching

credentials on his resume, we'd

expect nothing less than

bone-snapping insanity from Ted

Kaczynski (while his family may

be expecting a cool $1 mil.

reward bonus from the FBI, not

to mention merchandising

revenues). But we'll all be on

short fuses (especially Ted!) if

it turns out the Feds blundered

again - otherwise, if

he applies the same

moronically crude but effective

tactics in the courtroom as he

allegedly has with the law and

the press, we'll be blessed with

a minimum of 10 months worth of

EEG-flattening mirth and

analysis on the "technology

issue." It's no small

consolation that we suspect

that anyone who actually read

the 35,000-word manifesto would

be disqualified from the jury...