Imagine the Rocky Horror Picture

Show done Mystery Science

Theater 3000 style. Start by

filming an audience

participation night of the

Picture Show, then project that

onto the screen. Replace Frank

N. Furter in garters and high

heels with Mike in a jumpsuit.

Substitute Magenta, Columbia, and

Riff Raff with Crow, Tom Servo,

and Gypsy. And expect audience

participation night to be about

as improvisational as a Latin

Mass.

Or don't. See it for yourself,

when Mystery Science Theater

3000: The Movie works its way

from your local strip mall

cinema to the Saturday midnight

showing at your neighborhood

arthouse. But don't forget to

consult the FAQ before going -

you wouldn't want to yell

"Jimmy Smitts" when you should

be voicing a nonchalant

"meanwhile..."

At least Comedy Central hopes to

save us from the feedback loop.

On the eve of a book and a

feature film, MST3K is being

canceled. Of course, Comedy

Central has a history of toying

with MST3K devotees, tinkering

with the format and scheduling

of MST3K just enough to keep the

fans fanatical.

Even if Comedy Central's efforts

are sincere, though, the MST3K

bug can probably never be

shaken. Not only have MiSTings

become a something of a cottage

industry on Usenet, with guidelines

and a mailing list to ensure the

MST3K treatment is applied

correctly, we're now beginning

to see MiSTed email, where,

instead of a response, we get

Mike, Tom Servo, and Crow,

inserting their little barbs and

quips, to the profound delight

of the email's recipient.

As with other threats to the

interests of a group of netizens

(real or, like spam,

manufactured), a grass-roots

effort has formed around the

issue. And, as with other

net.efforts, email, which is too

easily filtered, filed, and

ignored, is discouraged in favor

of a fax or letter when lobbying

the powers-that-be. We predict

that until The Internet Fax

Server has more resources

devoted to it, most

grass-roots efforts are doomed

to failure - well, unless it's

something you really care about,

like your favorite TV show being

canceled.

And if Comedy Central sticks to

its decision not to purchase any

more episodes of MST3K? While a

savvy net-based company might

hire Best Brains to produce

Web-specific programming in the

space between now and January

1997, when MST3K becomes a free

agent, we, as ardent fans

(Webster's member 37 in the fan

club, back from the KTMA days)

are hoping for the best: Best

Brains calls it a career, and

MST3K is taken underground.

Rather than midnight

audience-participation showings

of a MiSTed This Island Earth,

we'd like to see fan-led

expeditions to opening nights of

new films that seem to have been

created with MST3K in mind, like

Screamers, From Dusk Till Dawn,

or, well, anything out of

Hollywood.

Keep circulating the tapes.