"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 16 January 1996. Updated every WEEKDAY.

TV Guide Writ Cool


[The Surface Of Saturn Is Not Cool]

The smallest measurable unit of

information you can use to

describe a web site is a link.

Glenn Davis's contribution to

the science of linkology is the

realization that links qua links

have zero value once they've

been followed, bookmarked, or

dutifully ignored. Thus, a new

link to a new site every day. A

"cool" site. Of the day.


[Glenn Davis]

Unfortunately, not only can this

simple thing - this "cool" thing -

be effortlessly co-opted, it

would seem to be hardwired into

each of our heads. It's called

taste. Like an asshole,

everyone's born with it, though

flavor varies widely. Glenn's

post-CSOTD project (titled,

aptly enough, Project Cool)

diverges only superficially from

his original goldmine. A "cool"

link every day. No explanation

given. If you need it explained...


[What Is This Thing Called Cool?]

The difference between being

totally cool and being a total

tool are subtle, and Glenn

attempts to dice through the

confusion with a sodden

rumination, "What Is This Thing

Called Cool?" We imagine this

gif-essay must have seemed like

a cool idea at the time, but

it's hardly illuminating in

practice. Glenn's ideology

becomes only slightly less

opaque through the analysis of

his curt autobiography, where

each instance of the word "cool"

is a link to Project Cool's

front door and where he ponders

the relative coolness of various

press-blurb strokejobs.


[Or can they?]

How will Glenn and his new

cohorts deal with the challenge

of reaffirming one's cool taste

while competing with a stable of

equally tight-lipped hipsters?

Will Glenn's choice to

relinquish a high-paying surfing

gig in favor of owning a

dubiously-premised start-up

break wide? Will Glenn, with his

"cool," and Suck, with our, er,

"suck," ever team up to

successfully mount an offensive

on the ascendancy of Beavis and




Heady questions, far too complex

to explore in depth without

significant risk of appearing to

lose our cool. And that's what

it's all about: cool. Attitude.

Skimming the surface in order to

avoid plunging into the depths

of meaning. Never saying too

much, for fear of saying too



When you're hot you're hot, when

you're not you're not.

courtesy of the Duke of URL