S U C K

"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 7 September 1995. Updated every WEEKDAY.
They Must Be Doing Something Right...

[Blinking Image]

Let this be a lesson to fledgling

Web hackers everywhere - the

<BLINK> tag is evil.

Why would anyone voluntarily plop

that kind of eyesore on top of

their ventures into Web

publishing? Doesn't everyone

know that <BLINK>

looks like shit on anything

outside of an X term? [A

debatable point. - Dunderhead]

It's like stringing Christmas

lights around a Picasso ... very

poor taste.

Look what happened to these

unfortunate souls as a result of

a seemingly minor lapse in HTML

discretion: 

 
>Hi,                               
>                                  
>The URL you submitted             
>http://www.jodi.org/betalab was   
>not added to Yahoo because we     
>feel that there is currently not  
>enough interesting content        
>within your site for our users.   
>                                  
>When your site is more fully      
>developed, please resubmit your   
>listing. We believe that this     
>policy is the best for all parties
>involved. Users are quickly       
>turned off by underdeveloped      
>sites. It reflects poorly not only
>on the site itself, but Yahoo as  
>well.                             
>                                  
>We look forward to adding your    
>site once the underlying content  
>is more fully developed.          
>                                  
>Thanks..                          
>                                  
>The Yahoo Gang

Sure, if you visited the URL

given above you'd see a page of

annoying garbage. But if you

look a little deeper you hit

something that approximates pay

dirt.

[Automatic Raindrop]

Betalab offers some funky web

experiments - occasionally flaky

- but not totally devoid of

merit. The "Automatic Raindrop"

section falls a little short of

revelatory, but, gaudy intro

image notwithstanding, there's

some clever work in their

"HyperBody Positions" piece.

And I'd be willing to bet that

the good folks at Yahoo never

made it to the "The Heemskerk

Collection of Data-Instruments

and Re: Machines", an insane

collection of dubious devices,

nicely laid out with

accompanying schematics and

QuickTime demos, that veers

precariously close to art qua

art.

[Device]

Whether you think this site is

just so many bytes of dogshit

[Amen! - Dunderhead] or worthy

of an NEA grant, you've gotta

give a little respect to people

who'd voluntarily put that much

work into such a conspicuously

pointless endeavor.

[Data-Instrument]

But just as you'd be hesitant to

enter a gallery whose doorknobs

are soaked in urine, gigantic

blinking text doesn't offer much

of an invitation, much less

indication of the manifest

potential contained within your

Internet pièce de résistance.

So, let's all give each other a

break and kill the

<BLINK>s. Yahoo will dig

it, Suck'll love it, and the

rest of the net will say a

silent thank you at the end of

every day of pollution-free

surfing.

[Quacking Duck Machine]
courtesy of the Duke of URL