S U C K

"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 7 March 2001. Updated every WEEKDAY.
 

Filler 03.7.01







 
 

You May Already Be A Wiener
Soon to come: awards awarded to award awards, professional associations like the National Society for Awarding Awards, valuable titles like, "Total Quality Awards Awarding," "The One-Minute Web Review," and "Reengineering the Award."
Five years ago today in Suck.



WHEAT AND GREET!

Subject: Grist for merciless ridicule

I had this dream last night that I was being interviewed for a job at Automatic Media. I was in a very very fancy office being interviewed by Joey Anuff and some other random person. Part of the interview was showing me what "IT" was (it turned out to be a really inexpensive genetically modified wheat product, oddly enough). The interview lapsed and I was free to explore Automatic Media's corporate headquarters. I wandered into the "Venture Capital Procurement" wing, which had 20' ceilings and lots of leather and brass and three very attractive and well-groomed employees who told me, "Since there's no VC out there anymore, Joey's just paying us to sit around and look attractive." I then wandered to the kitchen where there were many many employees talking and there were lots of dirty dishes. As I was loading the dishes into the dishwasher, a geeky little guy ran in saying "Joey's back! Everyone get back to work! Hide! Run!" I ran into the bathroom which was also very messy and started cleaning it. As I cleaned it I thought, "Somebody in that kitchen was Polly Esther but now I'll never know who."

This has cast a pall over my day.

Moishe Lettvin
<moishe@recipezaar.com>












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