Conversation Becomes Work

Before Al Gore invented the Internet and Bill Gates owned it, the place was more or less a dumping ground for bad poetry, pictures of cats and the occasional student paper on cold fusion. Collectively, it may have been worthless, but none of it cost anything, either. This was important, because instead of all the fact-checked content on AOL that the suckers were made to pay for, the web democratized media.

Soon magazines, newspapers, books, encyclopedias, professional journals, Jack Chick tracts — they were all online, and they were all free. And it still wasn't enough, because you can never have enough "free." So degreed professionals were forced at gunpoint to take obscenely large sums of money to do the hard work of telling you what to think and of forming your personal opinions.

Unfortunately, these professionals are an inbred bunch, and a sort of journalistic Tourette's would cause them to spew out the word "recession" every third sentence or so, thereby making themselves redundant.

Today the web is a deja vu all over again of bad poetry, pictures of pussies and the occasional wisecrack about cold fusion. The Internet poetry of today is most often written as a sort of reverse haiku, usually conforming to the twin conventions of being named for today's date and of being rambling, mostly incoherent streams-of-consciousness. This modern freeverse is often referred to as a "blog" or "Dude, hit the Back button." The pussies on the Internet are of the Schroedinger variety — they're the results for every search, and yet always just one more click away when attempting close study. And then there's everything else... a gaping maw of blank-sheet entry fields waiting for your participation, since now it's your job to produce the subject matter for the sites you visit, too! Sure, it's called "community," but you're the unpaid stringer, all the same. Don't forget to click on the ad banner, so you can go on creating someone else's content!

Speak your mind about today's Suck

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