"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 20 December 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.

Every Moo down in Mooville liked Christmas a lot...

But the Yinch, who lived just north of Mooville, did NOT!

The Yinch hated Christmas! The whole shopping season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his dad, who withheld his emotions,
or his mom's addiction to prescription potions.
It could be his sister, so bossy and mean,
It could be his brother, who was a big queen!

Or the whole family's dysfunctional dealings!
They gripe and they grumble, but hold in their feelings!
Self-conscious and passive aggressive — so prickly!
No therapy for them! They'd rather stay sickly!

The Yinch, in a pinch, was a bitter young shrew
His family was typical. What can you do?
No one grows up in blissful harmony,
And blaming your family is sooo '93!

Next... Square dance of anger!