NEWSFLASH: OLD AGE NOT BORING!

Many of you are suffering under the false impression that growing old is incredibly dull, that life as an old person is exasperatingly boring.

Not so! As you get older, your tolerance for stress decreases, just as all of your unresolved emotional issues are rising to the surface. Meanwhile, the free time to express that emotional turmoil is lower than ever.



Thanks to this increased stress and sublimation of emotions, when you're older, you can derive several hours of heart-pounding thrills from the smallest things, like a broken traffic light, or a dog that can't stop puking up grass!

Why, being old is like living in an amusement park! You just won't believe the excitement that will be yours, once you're lame and crusty!





 


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Next...You'll be older, too, asshole.



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