Once Ross Perot made it official that he would NOT be running for President in the 2000 election, the public's eyes turned to Jesse Ventura as Ross's heir apparent as the Reform Party standard bearer. Jesse was an obvious choice, since as Governor of Minnesota he holds the highest office of any Reform Party member in the country. Plus EVERYONE knows who Jesse is: The guy's got name-recognition and "momentum" to spare!

If only things were so simple. First of all, Ross Perot HATES Ventura, for reasons that no one can accurately explain (Jealousy, perhaps? Fear of success?). Then there's the fact that Jesse simply doesn't want to run for President (not yet, anyway). But in order to exert his influence within the party he threw his support behind the smug New York real estate tycoon Donald Trump, of all people!

Perot and others were understandably horrified at the thought of "The Donald" fronting their ticket, so when Buchanan threw his hat in the ring the more conservative members of the Reform Party eagerly got behind him as a way to frustrate the libertarian-leaning Ventura. Jesse, meanwhile, was equally horrified at the thought of Buchanan heading the party's ticket (figuring — correctly — that Pat would ignore the party's policy of avoiding social issues), so he quit the party altogether. Sheesh!

Anyone got any pairs of EXTRA LARGE DIAPERS for these fellahs?