"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 28 August 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.

Over more years than it takes for an average student to graduate high school, Suck.com has been disenchanting readers with wit, prolixity, and — with the exception of an early incarnation as a Power Rangers fan site and a brief but memorable involvement with the "Macedonia is Greek" movement — remarkable consistency.

That may be why these Suck anniversaries serve less as remembrances of your history with the site than as reminders of why you meant to stop reading it years ago. This year, we're faced with the challenge of writing a short history of something that has already lasted too long and changed too little. Beyond the occasional brush with death, shameless self-celebration or occasional newsworthless announcement, the best thing you can say for Suck is that we've never made you read any editor's notes bragging about our new redesign. Hypoplasia may be a relief for those worrywarts who sit around watching for the exact moment when Suck jumps the shark, descending into a long obsolescence of self-plagiarizing mediocrity, uninspired routines, and the introduction of late-franchise supporting characters. But the joke with Suck has always been that we're already there.

So join us as we look back on the last five years' greatest moments in Suckography".


The mid-nineties are a time of great intellectual ferment, with the ascendance of the web, the unceremonious dumping of slacker culture, and the full force of the digital revolution. This propitious moment is not lost on Suck founders Webster and Duke of URL, who use the latest in technology to publish a series of barely readable but strangely compelling pamphlets.

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