"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 18 August 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.

Back in the 90s, the "experts" said America's day was done, that our citizens would be nothing but a nation of hamburger flipping, change-stealing car wash jockeys, selling Mrs. Fields cookies. The American Century, it seemed, had a Y2K expiration date. But the current economic boom and the US-owned copyright on all things digital says history is handing us another C-note. Since 1900, we've won two world wars, a cold one, invented TV, atomic bombs, comic books, airplanes, put a man on the moon, cured polio, and saved the world time and again. We're AWESOME, literally and figuratively. But awesome isn't perfect, so how about the stuff we didn't get done? For every New Deal or Space Race that actually got underway, a dozen national initiatives got bumped by history's busy schedule. What happened to all those I'll Do It Tomorrow Presidential Programs, the Shoulda Coulda Woulda Been Nice foreign policy daydreams — all the secondstring hopes of a nation, put off during humanity's bloodiest century?

We at Suck say it's time to put a fire under our national butt. "Yeah," you say, "We had one hundred years to take the trash out, too bad." Maybe. But like every To Do list, anything from a sick dog to a fender bender can throw a whole day off. And our national To Do list had its share, or maybe you forgot about a little uninsured scrape called Pearl Harbor? Or the Tet Offensive or Lee Harvey Oswald? History happens, and that means we've got a hall closet full of junk and 99 years and four months to clean it out. So let's go!

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