"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 20 July 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.

For most Sucksters, the Indy 500 is a Memorial Day weekend newsblip lost among barbecues, top 500 radio call-in contests, parades, and the novelty of staying up late drinking on a Sunday night ... But the Indianapolis 500 has been around for 84 years, so somebody out there must be paying attention. And that got us curious. Figuring the average Suck reader knows next to nothing about professional auto racing, we thought, "Who better than two stellar knownothings like Peter Bagge and Bertolt Blecht to play our race card at the 2000 Indianapolis 500?"