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DATE MY FRIEND STEVE ALREADY! Unbelievably enough, my exceptionally mediocre friend Steve is still single, and after another year's worth of rejection, he's as bitter and sullen as ever! That's right, Dr. Steve is still out there — flaunting his faults, bemoaning his bad luck, and misdiagnosing scores of hapless patients, all the while stuffing his face with moon pies and hard candy! Count your blessings, girls. You still have a chance to make this talentless, defensive, deeply lazy man your own. Dare to dream of how great your life could be!
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