Even I was only vaguely aware of who this former UN ambassador and two-time senate candidate (he lost both times) was when Suck asked me to write about him! So for those of you who are still in the dark: Alan Keyes is an uncompromising Conservative in every way: a strong advocate of "smaller government" and the abolition of the Income Tax (which sounds like fun to me), as well as a deeply religious Catholic who opposes gay rights and advocates school prayer and the overturning of Roe v. Wade (the party pooper!).

Keyes is also a very passionate and articulate public speaker, so if you're planning on debating him on the issues you're gonna have to do a lot better than simply calling him a "party pooper"!

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