"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 5 April 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.

Filler 4.5.00


Sure, you don't feel like an adult, no matter how old you are. But you know you're an adult when, all of a sudden, you can't do what you want without facing serious consequences.

When you start to notice how limited and confining your life is now that you're older, doesn't it make you want to break something? Ditch your significant other? Fuck shit up? No?

Think about all the disadvantages. As an adult ...

You have to spend half your time sending out little thank-you notes for everything.

You can't just leave a mess wherever you go, and you can't just call out, "You need any help with that?" like you used to a few years ago.

You can't get blind drunk without feeling like a tool and apologizing repeatedly and worrying that someone will suggest Alcoholics Anonymous.

Next ... More crappy things about adulthood.

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