Wants: To find the perfect metaphor to illustrate just how bad she feels right now, because without the perfect metaphor you'll never, ever understand, but with it, there's some chance that you'll see how totally cruel you're being

Needs: To shut up and deal

Mainly Concentrating On: How you really need to read The Drama of the Gifted Child because it totally addresses how important it is for very emotional, very talented people to surround themselves with individuals who recognize their immense talents and accept and empathize with what may seem like unpredictable mood swings but which are actually totally understandable reactions to a tumultuous and often quite hostile world

Benefits: More passionate, funny, and smart than you could ever imagine a woman being

Drawbacks: More melodramatic, bitchy, and awful than you could ever imagine a woman being.

Fun: Laughter! Pop-Tarts! Great sex! Tears! Poetry! Strong coffee! Isn't it great to be alive?

Not-So-Fun: Insults! Hurled chairs! Poetry! Don't you wish you were dead?

Deepest, Darkest Secret: Deep in her heart, she knows that an ENFP should never date an ISTJ, no matter what the circumstances.

With Her, You'll Be: Alternately thrilled and terrorized. Despite her many qualities, this one could singlehandedly turn you into Mr. Flinchy.

Tune in next week to find out which Men and Women to Avoid end up together! Try not to die of suspense in the meantime!