"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"
for 21 February 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.


Although we're getting nowhere with the piano lessons, the Sucksters have always been determined to become the Mark Russells of the Web. And in the spirit of a Presidents' Day clearance sale, we'd like to offer you some of our finest inventory from half a decade of chief executive mockery. Dig right in. Logocentric Suck fans will enjoy another gander at Presidential Head Trips, Holly Martins' historical look at some of our most famous First Inner Children. The cartoon-only crowd will get an electoral shock from the following four illustrated features:

In Technicolor Yawn, James Bong goes behind the scenes of a movie that goes behind the scenes of a campaign — but doesn't manage to get as much wrong as the movie did. St. Huck fans will recall with delight their hero's bold suggestion in last year's Bastard Out of Arkansas that we might be witnessing Matt Drudge's last big scoop, a suggestion that looks more prophetic with each passing day. BarTel d'Arcy's never-popular Scaling Mount Rushmore shows how to make a molehill out of a presidential mountain. And if you think Bush and McCain's two-man hissy fit over a few nowhere-near-negative-enough campaign ads is much ado about nothing, you're in luck, because Bong's Ad Infinitum reviews some attack ads you may have missed the first time around. See you tomorrow. And don't forget to vote.


The Sucksters