THE AGGRO PRO
Needs: A play pen, a rattle, and some Ritalin
Mainly Concentrating On: How to get you to be more "naughty" in the sack
Benefits: Being with him is like dating a porn star.
Drawbacks: He's not as hung but just as dumb.
Fun: He's never tired or quiet or uninterested in sex.
Not-so-Fun: He's never tired or quiet or uninterested in sex.
Deepest Darkest Secret: Thinks that "clitoris" is some kind of herb they put in fresh salsa
With Him, You'll Be: Tired, quiet, and uninterested in sex
Needs: To know that them's fightin' words
Mainly Concentrating On: How many negative mythologies you have built up that need to be tossed aside, preferably via really good incense-fueled, Kama-Sutra-type sex
Benefits: Sees your bratty or selfish behavior as a surmountable challenge, a wondrous maze that both of you will traverse together in order to honor the spirit inside both of you
Drawbacks: Sees his bratty or selfish behavior as a justified effort to "take care of himself" and "nurture his soul"
Fun: Sensitive, unselfconscious, grows good pot
Not-So-Fun: Smells funny, sits cross-legged, will make you read Conversations with God
Deepest, Darkest Secret: Spent several dark years as an avid Scientologist
With Him, You'll Be: Rolling your eyes constantly
Next ... Be a good boy.