DAILY ESSAYS 2001
 
  Jun 2001
 

8 Jun 2001



Suck brings back the spirit of history's great vacationers

7 Jun 2001


Hit & Run 6.7.01
Eternal returns

6 Jun 2001


Filler 06.6.01
Nifty Alternatives To Dating!

4 Jun 2001


Tiny Little Penis 6.4.01
Too old for sex? Time for gardening!

1 Jun 2001


Henry Boltinoff: A Tribute
Suck remembers the man who kept America focused

 
  May 2001
 

31 May 2001


Hit & Run 05.31.01
Learning from Jerry, burning for Pearl, spurning Britannica.com

30 May 2001


Filler 05.30.01
Dating and Other Catastrophes!

29 May 2001


Dear Tiny Little Penis
Is he stringing you along?

27 May 2001


Indy 2000!

25 May 2001


He No Batter
Little League Lunacy

24 May 2001


Hit & Run 05.24.01
Kaycee's second death, Kurtz's double diss, and Suck on the ropes

23 May 2001


Filler 05.23.01
Do You Believe in

22 May 2001


Nip and Tux
A history of the stupidest outfit in history

21 May 2001


Tiny Little Penis 5.21.2001
Oh Yes, I'm The Great Pretender!

18 May 2001


Slowdown.com
This week's movie of the week

17 May 2001


Hit & Run 05.17.01
From freeware to freework

16 May 2001


Filler 05.16.01
Simply Red China!

15 May 2001


The Suck Reader Poll
Assert your averageness with these simple interactive questions!

14 May 2001


Dear Tiny Little Penis
Is it time for your post-divorce self-examination?

11 May 2001


Becoming Digital
Old Media takes a lesson

10 May 2001


Hit & Run 05.10.01
Mom, The Law, And Air Apple Pie

9 May 2001


Filler 05.9.01
Rock Hits Broadway, Hard!

8 May 2001


What If Week In Review
All the news that might have happened

7 May 2001



A new advice column for a new century

4 May 2001


Hooked On Crank

3 May 2001


Hit & Run 05.3.01
Michael Tchong picks a fight with Suck, and more

2 May 2001


Filler 05.2.01
Happy Fillerversary! Five Filling Years!

1 May 2001


Secret History
The awful truth about secret societies

 
  Apr 2001
 

30 Apr 2001


Hogan's Run
Where's Crocodile Dundee's Oscar?

27 Apr 2001


Trouble, Right Here In River City
How to make urban dystopias even worse

26 Apr 2001


Hit & Run 04.26.01
Jabbed, NABbed, and Blabbed

25 Apr 2001


Filler 04.25.01
Your Dysfunctional Friends and Neighbors!

24 Apr 2001


Jocko Homo
Primates unite to save web content

23 Apr 2001


Guts and Glory
Two fisted tales that should be ignored

20 Apr 2001


Mean Streets
Who's the real bohemian here?

19 Apr 2001


Hit & Run 04.19.01
Bad teachers, bad nuns, bad animals, and bad monkeys

18 Apr 2001


Filler 04.18.01
Service With a Malevolent Smile!

17 Apr 2001


Survivor Guilt
Australia: Enchanted land of Strudel and Lederhosen

16 Apr 2001


Conservation of What Matters
Where did that $4 trillion go?

13 Apr 2001


Movie Review, 2038
Our Nation's new finest hour, on the big screen

12 Apr 2001


Hit & Run 04.12.01
The death of the web, continued: A brief history

11 Apr 2001


Filler 04.11.01
They're Playin' Basketball!

10 Apr 2001


The Inland Empire Strikes Back!
LA's economy of schmear

9 Apr 2001


The Glamour Crisis
Hey, that stuff only looks like chocolat!

6 Apr 2001


Scenes from the life of a Death Row Film Critic
America's most honest reviewer's got nothing to lose

5 Apr 2001


Hit & Run 04.5.01
Babs battles on, campaign reform is a gas, UK footballers hit hard, fast and often

4 Apr 2001


Filler 04.4.01
Time for More Taxing Waxings!

3 Apr 2001


This Is Joe Franklin Reminding You To Buckle Up
Hailing Taxis

2 Apr 2001


Baiting Whitey
The crisis in our schools: One hysterical son's lament

 
  Mar 2001
 

30 Mar 2001


Cost Minus
An internal report: Our new cost-saving program

29 Mar 2001


Hit & Run 03.29.01
The Day the Clown Died: Bozo gets canceled, viral pals Back the web, OS X marks the spot, and more

28 Mar 2001


Filler 03.28.01
Get Yourself a Virtual Professional!

27 Mar 2001


Ten Reasons Not To Go To the Movies
Trailer tipoffs for mediocre movies

26 Mar 2001


Horse Sense
The future of Rodeo America

23 Mar 2001


The Elvisification of Marshall Mathers or From Marshall to Jerry
From Grammys to Grampa in short, easy steps.

22 Mar 2001


Hit & Run 03.22.01
Dotcoms still feeling woozy, pups pound Palestinians, we get ripped

21 Mar 2001


Filler 03.21.01
Friday, The Rabbit Saw Red!

20 Mar 2001


Suspension of Belief
Beliefnet spreads the word of the Lords

19 Mar 2001


The Sky Is Falling
Next, let's blame the financial reporters

16 Mar 2001


The Irish Curse
Our treatment for a St. Patrick's Day thriller

15 Mar 2001


Hit & Run 03.15.01
Martin Lawrence gets digitized, Wham-O! gets funky, and the banner yet waves

14 Mar 2001


Filler 03.14.01
Tragic Flaws Of The Tragically Hip!

13 Mar 2001


I Dig Your Wig
One actor's campaign to free us from our own heads

12 Mar 2001


Run For Your Life
Beatles 4 Ever?

9 Mar 2001


Peace Dividends
Making Colombia Safe for Campesinos?

8 Mar 2001


Hit & Run 03.8.01
Web geniuses are like buses, Brendan is like butter, we find a bride for the Peter Pan guy, and more

7 Mar 2001


Filler 03.7.01
Working in the Gene Pool!

6 Mar 2001


Video Toast
Bully for TV critics

5 Mar 2001


Hat Dance
Putting the 'lite' back in 'elite'

2 Mar 2001


More Things Change
Suck Goes to India

1 Mar 2001


Hit & Run 03.1.01
Spies, Drug Lords, Trade Show Schnooks, and more

 
  Feb 2001
 

28 Feb 2001


Filler 02.28.01
Complex or Convex?

27 Feb 2001


First Drones of History
We read celeblogs so you don't have to

26 Feb 2001


Taking The "R" Out of "Free"
In Memorium, WWW

23 Feb 2001


Defending James Lipton
An unctuous hack and an ungrateful nation

22 Feb 2001


Hit & Run 02.22.01
A real-life Barney Fife gets his man, Creationists catch the genome, Grammys go Native, and more

21 Feb 2001


Filler 02.21.01
Couples to Avoid IV!

20 Feb 2001


Fast, Cheap, and Mission-Controlled
George W's suprising demobilization

16 Feb 2001


Tavern Turnover
Peter Bagge tracks the evolution of Blue Collar Dives into Hipster Hangouts

15 Feb 2001


Hit & Run 02.15.01
The N Word just pops out, Naked News jobs pop up, McVeigh fouls out, and dateless wonders bounce back

14 Feb 2001


Filler 02.14.01
Women to Avoid IV!

13 Feb 2001


Lawn Jockeying
The war against the suburbs enters a snooze-worthy new phase.

12 Feb 2001


Putting the Ass Back in Assassin
Retarded sons of Oswald in a can't-do nation

9 Feb 2001


Something About Mary
The Blessed Mother: Still fighting Commies after all these years

8 Feb 2001


Hit & Run 02.8.01
Shakespeare in turnaround, Chynese war on

7 Feb 2001


Filler 02.7.01
Men to Avoid IV!

6 Feb 2001


Vanity Unfair?
Teaser: Xliberated

5 Feb 2001


Cable Degeneration
Do you fit the suit?

2 Feb 2001


Suck presents ... Unsolicited
A new magazine of, by, and for The People

1 Feb 2001


Hit & Run 02.1.01
Atheism, Advocates, Agony, and more

 
  Jan 2001
 

31 Jan 2001


Filler 01.31.01
Jesus Saves Coupons!

30 Jan 2001


Will Work For Love Gifts, Tips
Laying on of hands and dodging of taxes, Hoosier-style

29 Jan 2001


WAP, Bam, No Thank You, Ma'am
Fear of a wireless world

26 Jan 2001


All Aboard
It takes a lot to laugh, but does it really take a train to cry?

25 Jan 2001


Hit & Run 01.25.01
Jandek off the charts, love children in da house, Englishmen in the grave, and more

24 Jan 2001


Filler 01.24.01
A survival guide for casualties of the dot-com war!

23 Jan 2001


No Cerveza, No Trabajo
Are little girlymen taking over our armed forces?

22 Jan 2001


The Artless Bastards
Who needs art when you've got artists?

19 Jan 2001


Saving Private Cheney
How Five American soldiers crossed into enemy territory so one man wouldn't have to.

18 Jan 2001


Hit & Run 01.18.01
The imploding of the American mind

17 Jan 2001


Filler 01.17.01
Paper Or Plastic?

16 Jan 2001


Tomorrow's Superwriters Today
Why authors are nobody's heroes

15 Jan 2001


Free At Last
Suck is neither a fish nor a barrel, nor is it a smoking gun. Discuss.

12 Jan 2001


Tales From the Cache
The Terrible Truth of Telecommuting!

11 Jan 2001


Hit & Run 01.11.01
The Hate Trick, or You Can Touch It With a Ten-Foot Pole

10 Jan 2001


Filler 01.10.01
Wedding Hell!

9 Jan 2001


Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves
Why A Star keeps being reborn

8 Jan 2001


What Price Shame?
Deliver us from celebrity weddings

5 Jan 2001


Transfer of Power
Suck takes the reins of humor!

4 Jan 2001


Hit & Run 01.4.01
Mummers mumming, job applicants hunting and evil Santas shooting

3 Jan 2001


Filler 01.3.01
Your 2001 Horoscope!

2 Jan 2001


Utility Players
Lights out from coast to coast